I have been working a great deal with grief during this last month and want to share some positive outcomes from that work, to assure any of you who are sad, overpowered by grief and just blue for a day or so, that there is movement in sorrow.
It is indeed like the old cliche, grief is like a river. It is a river you swim through to reach a new shore, enlightenment, enrichment and to shed old patterns and ways of living. There is no rut or sameness in grief. It hurts. We, you and I suffer and out of that suffering comes newness.
Grief often begins with a rough current, a shock, a horror, a betrayal, cruelty and even death. All of these experiences create a wrenching, a battering that carries one along until the first shock settles into a heaviness, a stillness and a smoother ride that can still turn into a sudden rapid and a spiral down a waterfall.
I have been working with two women, one in her forties and the other in her late fifties. Both are wise beyond their life experiences. Both are brilliant and have had much success in their lives. Grief has visited them in different ways yet each woman is willing, often against their frightened selves to stay with their sorrow and see it through.
Courage is what buoys them up and carries them along. They face each dark day with tears, often after a night of little sleep. They get up, try to move through their day. They have both gained or lost weight. Both have experienced physical illness. Both are lonely within and tired to being sad.
One has, after months of grieving, turned to Spirit and is writing a program she will share with other women. She wants to give back, out of her grief. She has gained insight and purpose. She is in a creative time wherein she is researching her work and putting it into interviews, on paper, to be published and aired on television.
She has become a wise woman. She wants to enhance the lives of other women. She is energized now that the worst of her grief has passed. She can see deeper, feel more and give in ways she did not imagine possible before grief visited.
The other woman is living in a dry and desolate landscape. She has lost most of her possessions. She has lost a dear friend, a beloved. She has lost her family. Yet is in a new home that is far removed from her former well appointed place. Yet, this woman gets up and takes care of her dogs and the children of others. She does not complain to those around her yet at night she cries and rails against her fate. Out of that rage and sorrow, she is being reborn with a wonderful courage and sense of fight. She is smart and able and that depth in her in being renewed. She is on the road, literally, toward a new job, a new home, a new relationship to fit her new sense of self. She is a seer. She is wise. She is most of all, what we call a very old soul. She is a survivor.
Grief can be a pathway to newness. When the worst of it subsides, their is a sigh of relief, yes, but with that sigh comes a sense of fun and joy is deepened.
As one person I have worked with said as his grief subsided, “the worst has already happened. I am ready for a new day.”
I send you all courage and hope in the dark times and celebration in the light times.
The two are twins who help us to know and cherish our lives.
Blessings.
Mercedes
